Her War

My daughter is a soldier. Every day, she fights a war. Her enemy is cancer and it is trying to take her life. It is relentless and cruel. It is evil.

But she is a brave soldier. She knows what she has to do. She knows that she has to fight it. At just three years old, she understands what that means and she perseveres.

Day after day she is in the trenches. With each procedure, each needle poke, and each new round of chemo complete, she is closer to victory. Each day she is here, each day cancer has not won, is another victory for her.

The beginning was difficult. She was so fearful and she cried so much. After all, she was not ready for this. She could not possibly have been prepared for this battle. Her childish mind had no idea what it meant to be at war. She had never seen evil before cancer entered her body. She didn’t even know that it existed.

Today, things are very different. She knows all too well that it exists. She is always ready to do what she has to do to beat it and she proves it day after day.

I know you might be thinking that a three year old couldn’t possibly understand this. But I assure you that she does. She knows.

She marches into the cancer center each day. She is not happy to be there but she accepts it. She never complains and she no longer cries.

I watch her while we are there. I see that as we sit and wait, she becomes uncomfortable. I see that the fear slowly starts to creep in. But then I see a change in her. I see the exact moment when she tells herself, “I will not let it see my fear today. Today, I will be strong. Today, I will win”. I see the physical changes that follow after she makes that very conscious decision. I see her body stiffen a little. I see that the look on her face becomes so serious and then, so fierce. I see that, in that moment, she is fighting. In that moment, she is beating it.

Yes, I wish it wasn’t so. I wish she did not have to fight. I wish she did not have to understand any of this. I would have wanted her to remain innocent and naive forever. This is the hand she was dealt though. I don’t know why but it doesn’t matter.

I know that, because of cancer, she has wisdom in her that surpasses that of most adults. I know that her spirit is not broken. I know that her strength only continues to grow. I know that the day will come when she will be victorious. I know that she will be a better person because of her experience.

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• Tagged: brave soldier, chemotherapy, childhood cancer, enemy, evil. Perseverance, fight, fight cancer, leukemia, soldier, trenches, victory, war, wisdom